My lost love

30/01/09
Ms.Y (2:37 PM) I luv u oso. Im sori that was the most sweet msg that I received At night I ply Mahjong ,I won alot that day So I quite happy but happy feeling soon fade because I called my gal and she told me that need to break up coz now she not suitable to couple. She also said that she dint want to waste my time so that I can find a better girls compare to her. What was that how come it turn out to be like æ this she still ask why I no reaction. What reaction she want should I be happy about it did she know how hurt and sad I were at that time. Almost what I did also for her yet she never praise me not even abit of appreciation. I understand she can't spend much time with me with NS and her studies everytime she also can't out last time I will mad but I changed I wount mad but some time disappointed. Couple of time she can't make it I juz said it ok. Now she want break coz not suitable does she care my feelings?
31/01/09
midnight I still pretty blur from the news that me and her just broke up even this not the 1st time but it was the sadest ever. Then I find 1 of my fren to go out and relax at pavillion drank couple of beers then we went for movie underground 3 rise of lycan then in the movie my fren kissed me both of us pretty shy then we go mamak stall to had a drink. In the morning I tried to control my emotions as best as I can. Both of our parents knew we couple. At night I go ply æ mahjong as usual and drank alot.
01/02/09
I woke up then need to get ready to go for lunch with family and relative I knew everyone were curious why I am like a lifeless zombie. After the lunch I were forced to go sungai wang with my parents. Then I went to cc with my friends. Everyone congrazt me that I and her had broke up. My heart felt like been stroke by lightning as they kept talk bad about her.
02/02/09
Midnight I came home and wish my parents had a save journey to china. In the morning it was KY birthday then we went out. Couple of things happened during that day KY was jealous about JL. It was a happy day I guess but I can no longer feel happy or joy anymore now I can only feel the sorrow and sadness. In the night I were badly drunk.
03/02/09
I woke up to went to school then I notice I were sick and I rush home rest then my aunt came over then I had a dream about Ms.Y Called me in the dream I can felt that happiness fill in my heart in the dream I also check izzit her calling me then I kept repeat call her name then I said it juz a dream it really was juz a dream. Everytime I and her broke up I sure dream bout her. That was it I can no longer hide my emotions I cried and cried and for what there is nothing can I can do to undo what had been done. Not only that now I crazy until I can wrote diary there the only place I can express my feelings.